Monday, November 07, 2005

Weekinceptiphobia, Plus, Plus!

Aquastripteasipublicaphobia--fear that the urge to publicly peel off one's clothing and jump into a beautiful urban fountain will eventually step on one's superego's throat.

Giganteeniphobia--nervous twitching panic upon seeing a group of now standard six-foot-plus teens approaching one on the sidewalk.

Humoramutaphobia--fear that one's friends did not quite hear one's clever joke (may lead to Humorarepetitia).

Humorafatiguiphobia--fear that one's friends do indeed hear one's jokes, but that said jokes are just not clever.

Technobserviphobia--fear that somebody or some agency can see one through one's monitor.

Intimiperceptiphobia--fear that one's friends or family believe that one would like to make out with him/her/them.

Illgottenadmissioniphobia--fear that the ticket-ripper at the movie theater does not believe that one actually did pay for one's movie ticket. Also arrises as a fear that one will be perceived as a "crasher" at an event to which one is legitimately invited, yea, perhaps of which one is even the guest of honor.

Maternimpossibiliphobia--fear that the NYPD security guards at one's childrens' public school will judge one by her paint-slopped clothing and bad breath to not possibly be mother material and hence will not allow one to retrieve one's honestly attained children.

malexploitiphobia--fear that one will someday appear in one's many writer-friends' novels, articles, or blogs as the shameless idiot with a barely altered name.

nonexploitiphobia--fear that one will never appear in one's many writer-friends' novels, articles, or blogs in any form at all, ever.


Anonymous Errorista said...

Humorafatiguiphobia - you wrote that about me, huh? Didn't you? Was it about me? Hmmm...megalomainicaphobia: the fear that all things written by your sister which are bad are based on you, in some way.

Now, are you laughing or not? Was it clever or not?

2:34 PM  
Blogger Writermama said...

Nice new painting!

7:18 PM  
Anonymous fatty said...

i'd like you to come up with a name for the fear of being expected to comment on blog posts, even when you have nothing clever to add.

6:45 PM  
Blogger newbrooklyner said...

Oh, Err. You know you're plus, plus clever. I'm laughing and it's not at but with and it IS about you.

Oh, Writermama, thanks. It's old as the hills though I am afraid.

Oh, Fatty. You're off the hook. No more expectations. You're cool and I'm glad that van didn't snuff your light.

7:02 AM  
Blogger Unintelligentsia said...

Doctor! I did a little research on the internet with my symptoms and I think I know what I have!

Humoramutaphobia because of my chronic Humorarepetitia and even though I'm not convinced, my girlfriends think perhaps Humorafatiguiphobia.

How long do I have to live?

1:58 AM  
Blogger ZinniaSoCA said...

Too late for that last one... I already find you linked on nearly every blog I visit and blogged quite often as well!

I love how you think up these words and definitions! My brain twists when I think of trying to make up one, but I'll keep trying.

As a general rule, do you make up definition first or the malady?



11:33 PM  
Blogger newbrooklyner said...

unintel, it's just too late, but you're in good company.

zin, I use a secret machine.

8:19 AM  

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