Friday, November 11, 2005

Turn To The Left, Turn To The Right. (Fashion.)

I was at the Herald Square H&M this morning and the Stella McCartney gorge frenzy was in full swing.
Stella, a Beatle's daughter, has deigned to do a momentary couture-for-the-masses stint for the Swedish-based clothing store where I buy 83% of the family's apparel.
Planets aligned so that I happened upon a clot of about 200 women tearfully tearing every last piece of designer goods from the racks. The Stella McCartney fashions distinguished themselves from the ordinary H&M cheapies-but-goodies sewn by precious and tiny third-world hands by their special mauve and goldtone plastic hangers. Otherwise they were cheap fabric and weak stitching as usual. This reality did not impede the hordes of women who clutched their piles of hope to their pounding hearts unaware that, even worn all at once, there wasn't enough Stella McCartney in the universe to stem that ugly desperation on their faces causing them to claw at one another and sneakily pick items off one another's piles. No Stella McCartney garment would ever be enhancing enough for the girl with the tattered soul who promised anything, I mean anything, to the passive dreadlocked dressing room attendant if he'd just pull out some special Stella McCartney pants in her size from the back room.
"Lady, I want to make everyone happy but that ain't gonna happen today."
By the looks of it, nobody seemed very happy. Then again, Stella McCartney wasn't around.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

that painting is amazing. i haven't seen one of yours that i don't like, but this one takes the cake. i have no idea what the significance of the birds is, but their presence in your paintings really intensifies the hauntinly beautiful imagery.

also, your blog kicks ass. you'll have to keep us all updated on what works are showing where, and whatnot. i'm only a few hours from the city, and make an annual trip down. i'd love to see some of them in person.


11:22 AM  
Anonymous Shelley said...

So what we all really want to know is, wha'd you get? Do tell.

12:12 PM  
Blogger newbrooklyner said...

Thank you, Matt. I will surely post my next big show. Or any show.

Shelley, it doesn't matter what I got. What matters is that you did not.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Writermama said...

What weak stitching? I've been wearing H&M for years with nary a split seam. I perused the Stella collection on their Web site, and thought it was a little too disco 1979--although I love disco 1979, just not on me. I had high hopes for Stella, but thought that Karl's H&M collection last year was better.

So whadja get? And why doesn't it matter? Readers would very much like to know the answers to both questions.

10:00 PM  
Anonymous BIG Mike said...

Isn't it fascinating how the huddled masses will scramble for a taste of the scraps of fame.

7:35 PM  
Blogger newbrooklyner said...

writerma, you know I can't compete with those pointy-shoed shopping experts. I went straight up that escalator to the Average Wear Department. I bought, as you may guess, some cute average wear designed by nameless people.
The stitching on these pieces does indeed seem tight enough.

big mike, you know you'd be right there with them kicking it out for that last mesh belt.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Shelley said...

Owwwwchhhtttttt !!!
I'm wounded.

9:33 AM  

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