Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Fall


In an kindly effort not to bring anybody down (man), I've chosen a neutral topic today.
Today, I will address The Weather.

Is it really fair for Winter to sink its fangs into this city before Fall has really had a chance to hit the town? Has the NYC Fall had time to haul out that ageless red/gold combo that the fashion industry defers to year after year? Has Fall had time to visit the old ladies and the babies, get comfortable with friends? Has Fall even had enough time to luxuriously disrobe, leaf by leaf, before being led away to sleep? Why, no. Not this year. Not for New York City. Winter came and rushed things, forcing Fall to drop its leaves all at once in a heap like sullied laundry. It's a case of bad manners for Winter to be slinking around already, jabbing, pinching, and slapping. Bad form.

Summer was equally rude this year, lowering itself on us like some visiting lardy distant cousin, plopping its soggy tush, unawares, on a squirming, suffering city as if we were its own ratty sofa. Summer remained wedged upon us, unmoving for months while we slogged around in its gelatinous flesh. It simply didn't feel us or care about us. It didn't really even remember who we were. We were just a place to park it.
Then suddenly, weeks past school's start, its welcome completely ragged and worn out, Summer disappeared. Over night Summer was driven away and by morning a nasty rain had moved into the vacancy left behind.
Into the canyons of Manhattan, against the filthy shores of Coney Island, and somehow even into the underground tunnels we all crawl through, the rain drilled away at us. Eight days of a piercing rain that made the paint fall in sheets off of pillars in the subway tunnels so we could count back, layer by layer, years of MTA maintanance (the pillars started off as a leadish blue, were pink at some optimistic time, and brown during some pessimistic period. Aged mustard has been the most popular and repeated paint color throughout MTA history. We are in fact in an aged mustard phase at this time.)
If Summer was indifferent and slovenly, this rain was blindly vengeful, actively attacking New Yorkers like a sibling with a chemical imbalance who moves past the fun of tickling, past the annoyance of tickling, past panicky tickling, right into the pain and torture of unending, pants-peeing tickling. "Uncle! Mother f****** Uncle!" the city cried. The rain couldn't care less. The rain was off its meds.
Was that Fall? That couldn't be Fall. That rain was shameless, shameful imposter. No Fall I've ever been acquainted with behaves that way and then leaves without apologizing. The days of recognizable Fal-as-I-know-Fall could be numbered on my tiny shivering hand this year. So then where is Fall? I suspect Fall has been gagged and bound and is in some windowless basement somewhere in Jersey being forced to listen to poetry about Summer.

It's so cold already. I haven't taken enough walks yet and everyone's hunkering down in parkas already. I've heard the farmers upstate had to throw many pumpkins onto the garbage heap because everybody gave up on Fall this year. How about that weather, you know?

Oops.

5 Comments:

Anonymous dug said...

oh the delicious irony, when even the weather, and not just the weather, but the senseless, uncaring capriciousness of weather, and its pure disregard for human activity, can be such a poignant opportunity for shared melonchaly.

and yet, and yet, it still brings me down.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Rocky said...

I will gladly send you some Autumn from the amazing, prolonged Autumn that we have had here...sorry that nature has been a cruel, capricious, disregarder of human activity. dug is ... well ... dug.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Errorista said...

Ah...you paint such a lovely picture...I cannot wait to arrive!!

1:04 AM  
Blogger Writermama said...

Don't give up on Autumn, yet. All next week, it's supposed to be nice, especiallly Halloween. The weather gods always smile on us on Halloween.

8:03 AM  
Blogger ZinniaSoCA said...

A brilliant dissertation. Who but you could make the weather so interesting? I never cease to be amazed at your multiplicity of stupendous talents.

Hugs,

MuMo

9:46 PM  

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